Rites of passage.

From that tiny fetus swimming and kicking in my stomach to the time I held a hungry, squirmy yelling kid in my arms, to now, when he leaves our home and flies the nest, we as parents have come a long way. The rites of passage have been happy, sad and sometimes heart breaking. This kid, our last one in particular has given us a few heart attacks, but many many more happy times. And to think we had him in the most unplanned and disorderly fashion, in the midst of life changing decisions the family was making.

The day he cut his first tooth was a delight. We were as it is struggling with feeding, with me wanting to feed him for a few more months and he struggling to break out and venture into the world of chewing and masticating. This fellow with his puppy fat and soft skin, whom I forever kept in diapers only, so that I could cuddle him any time I felt like, started school. The sight of him in a brand new uniform – Had I known then, that it would lead to this day, I would perhaps have kept him home. But again life has to spin and move.

Days of fever, heart breaks and happier days of winning matches, being chosen to lead the school in games, friends leaving, new friends, voice cracking, girl friends and girl friend issues, studies, SAT’s, Essays and now here we are.

It’s time for the kid to leave. I’ve already sent off the first one. It was heart breaking enough. We know in our hearts that this is their step into the real world. They might never come back home. Their rooms will remain empty for months on end and one day we shall hear that they might not occupy that room again. We don’t know, we think, but it’s a damn close possibility.

But whatever the future holds, what ever their lives lead them to do, we parents have years of spit, poop, pee, gurgles, laughter, love and hugs to hold us together for the rest of our lives.




The Blog feed is going to get very erratic for a while. The second and last kid is leaving for college. It’s a time of great pride and utter panic. I lie back most days and think of things which might never come to past, and that’s the time my friend’s voice echoes loudly in my head. She has taught me to look at things positively. I am normally not a morbid person, but sometimes my mind can evoke ghosts and all that is toxic.

I have many people to thank in my life, for no one achieves anything in isolation. So here is my outpouring of thanks to the many people who have taught me various lessons in life.

One traditionally begins with their parents, but I will not. I have to start with my two sets of grandparents.

I saw my paternal grand father for all of one and half years of my life. He passed away too early. But I remember him. Dad says the last few years he lived for me. And when one is told that someone lived only for you, one toes the line when going off track. Grand-mom, is the soul of generosity. Unconditionally, she has bought up various children of various distant cousins and all were treated like her only child – my Dad. No one has a count of how many people she has got home and taken care of through myriad diseases and illnesses.

The maternal grand father invoked a love for books, which I passed on to my daughter. Grand mom was something else. On her, I want to write a book. She has taken care of me through out my life. She is no more, but I owe my first thanks to her for all that is nice in my life.

Dad was a maverick parent. He taught me to iron, make the bed, plait my hair, and other stuff which Dad’s don’t teach. I’ve seen Dad be pleasant to the most disgusting of people. I’m volatile and could never understand it. But now that I have kids of my own, I get the point. Whatever discipline I have in life, is because of him.

Mom always said that “What ever you do, do it to the best of your ability”. I’ve passed that one on to the kids as well. Love for music, creative bent of mind, wild adventurous nature – all Mom’s gift to me.

My aunt. She was there for me when I was at my rebellious best. When no one made sense, she got into my head and sorted me out. My career in cooking and love for creative food comes from her. She was and will be the get- set- go of my life.

My elder sister – my back bone. Never known somebody with a more quick wit. Adore her, for all that she is. She is my “go to” for all sorts of troubled spots I get myself into.

The younger sister, with her unconditional love,is my “always there” pal. I love her immensely. There is no specific reason – I just do.

The husband – he needs a book of his own – written by me. I have lived with him more years than my parents. My support, in all things mad. He keeps me safe and I keep him wild! That’s our pact!

The kids- my life line and my heart and soul. I have to thank them for being born, for being my kids and making my life a huge wide bowl of spice and all that’s nice.

The friend – she knows who she is. She will hide the body of the person I murder, and only after that, slap me for getting into trouble. The universe bought her late into my life. But the universe never makes false entries and exits. I am saner because of her.

My Sister- in – law- That one person who has kept the family tingling with love and acceptance.

The other: sister – in – law. And her two adorable kiddos. How dull life would be without them. Another one, with mad sense of humor. She met with an accident some years back, and I never ever, saw her shed a tear. To be able to smile through such pain… if I know someone like that and not learn from her? Who would be a bigger fool than me?

And because this blog is getting big, I am stopping here. My life has been full of the most wonderful people. Some are still here and some have exited by choice. Many have not been mentioned. I have to thank them all and will do so by and by.

I do believe, very firmly, that one changes everyday. If nothing else you grow a day older.