I wrote his exactly 17 plus years ago for the son! I have just unearthed old pictures and both the kids’ baby books. I’m alone in Bangalore, and chuckling loudly. Ive perhaps had the best morning in a lot of mornings.
I’m very irritated!!
My hands, they wont co-operate,
They move on their own accord….
… and leave me feeling desperate.
The other day..
I felt a tickle in my nose.
I tried to scratch it, and
I got pretty close.
But, zooped slipped my hand.
With a might of its own, they
Went and scratched my cheeks.
Boy! You should have heard me shriek.
New Year’s eve was another story.
Mamma felt Oh! So sorry.
I was trying to hold a conversation over the phone
With someone in the other zone!
Instead my hand grabbed my hair and yanked it hard.
I am busy de cluttering, reorganizing files, throwing away tons of useless stuff, and leading a laid back indolent life. There is no kid at home to feed, drop or shop for. The work is on auto mode, and so far the empty nest is not biting at me.
A few days ago, people who are not used to see me doing nothing, said I couldn’t keep living this way. I should find some work! Knowing the old me, it was a very well meaning and concerned statement. I have always given out this image, that if I am not busy, I shall wither away and die.
I have spent years and years being “busy”. First school, the need to excel (not in studies!!), college, early marriage, coping with a new set of parents and grandparents, family crisis, kids, their schooling, my 19 hour work days, the need to prove myself, my further education, then the kids going off! Whew! When did I breathe?
I have a huge lacuna in my music files, off those years when I was newly married and kids were skirt pulling, attention seeking toddlers.
Now, I look into all household and work responsibilities in the morning. Then I am free. And indolent. And laid back. And lazy. Some days I watch downloaded serials for hours, some days I DJ and mix music endlessly, and other days I read incessantly. I party most nights, and find friends who can help me with that.
I absolutely, adamantly with stomping feet, vehemently, refuse to be useful any time soon. We live in a world of the unknown, and soon an emergency will draw me out of my sloth state. For nothing remains the same forever.
I sit now and watch butterflies flit across the garden. I watch my favorite tree bloom and shed its beautiful flowers. I slurp honey collected from a neighboring beehive. I have a beer in the afternoon and wine with my husband at night. I meet friends, and write love notes to my kids. I blog. Its all one big “I” right now.
Blooming trees and fliting butterflies.my time to stand and stare.
This summer my elder one read books, woke up late and was basically a retarded non-productive human being. When I chided her, she made a statement, which has made me sit back and think. This is definitely the one time they can be most productive, but this is also the time when they can bask under the protective atmosphere of their parents and not worry about the next meal or the next promotion. Four months in college, are spent, working furiously, trying to prove her self to herself. Cooking, cleaning and basically always remaining alert. At home she lets go. Someone else is doing the worrying, feeding and protecting. When will she be able to do this in future?
We all get so busy in our lives, that, we forget to count the stars.
Now I sit and think. A lot of me has changed. I have shed the overcast cloud of influence of one person who had me in her grip for as long as I can remember. Free from her power over me, it now does not matter that she is angry or upset with me. The lightness of being is terrifying. It is taking some getting used to. With barriers dropped I am doing things I have never done. Making friends and becoming a non-biased, non-judgmental person.
All this reminds me of a story. A busy white collar, climbing the ladders of success and promotions, had a flat in a small road in Goa. While a shabbily dressed but peaceful looking man, repaired his flat, the white collar could not help feeling distressed at the laid back attitude. He asked the Goan “ Why don’t you work? “ “ What will happen if I work?” asked the Goan. “ Well! You will earn money. Get rich. Buy a house and then retire. Then you can live a peaceful life” The Goan smiled and said, “ Why should I break my back and earn money, to do what I am already doing?” Not necessarily, what we want to teach our children, but there is some element of truth in it.
This is another crossroad in my life. I am walking down one path. I might not reach the end, and might turn back and take another road. But for the moment every scenery of this path is breathtaking.
This blog is dedicated to Akshat T. Thanks for your suggestions. We tried every single place you suggested and you are now my official go to person, if I visit any city you already have.
Devyani N. Who visited Chicago, instead of Ireland!!
Chicago was 2 days of sheer debauchery. A friendly change from crowded busy and unfriendly NY.
Places to visit.
Millennium Park: This is in the centre of Chicago. Huge, with loads of things to do. There is the Crown Plaza, with the water fountain and digital face. It was hot, and kids were playing in the water fountain. I felt like joining them too.
Crown PlazaView from Millennium Park.
Cloud Gate – know as The Bean, for its legume shape. I found this to be one of the most fascinating pieces of sculptor, I have ever see. I could not stop marvelling at the brains behind this fabulous design. When I researched, ofcourse it turned out to be an Indian. Anish Kapoor – 2006. Its a pure stainless steel structure, but the way it has been choreographed (there is not better word for it) is stunning. With every angle one sees myriad designs and reflections.
Sky line reflected from the BeanReflection – THE BEAN
Theater – There was a Jazz festival going on. Open seating. People had come with garden chairs and picnics. I dont know much about Jazzz, but I believe the artists performing were fairly famous.
Out door Jazz FEstival
Willis Tower : Where the sky deck is located – on the 103rd floor. It’s a crazy experience. Once stands on a glass floor. And when you look down, huge container carrying trucks look like miniature dinky cars. Not meant for those scared of heights.
Navy Pier: It was a bright summer, wednesday evening. We went for a show (Cirque – Shanghai Warriors – amazing) and then roamed around the pier. Typical american peir. Open spaces, loads of restaurants and bars, and shops. Worth spending an hour or so. If you are lucky you might catch a fire work show.
Sky line from the Navy Pier
Magnificent Mile and Oak Street: Shopping areas, boutiques and great restaurants. Walk!
Wicker Park: Local neighbourhood. A little further from central areas, so we could not visit. But I have been told its worth a visit.
Architectural Tour : The boats take you around Chicago, can be done with or without a meal and drinks. Again we could not make it. But heard its worth it.
Places to eat. And DRINK
The Aviary: What a concept. Its merely and only a bar. Very little eats menu. One can choose a 3 course or a 5 course cocktail menu. We took the 3 course one. There were 4 of us and 12 drinks. The mixes, the ingredients – pure mixology genius. Its an experience and one must absolutely go there. Lets leave aside the fact that we were walking at odd angles after this.
Aviary – Bird CAge. Bar tenders and Mixologists at work.Flaming drink – second course.4 drinks 4 different tastes. Weird ingredients which make so much sense to the pallette.
The Publican : Belgian brewery and restaurant. With close to 160 different beers. Communal tables. Definitely worth visiting. PS – even the food looked good – though we did not eat there.
Signature Lounge : The view from this place is crazy. Its on the 96th floor and has fantastic drinks. We had a ruby martini, which had lemon shorbet dissolving in it and leaving behind mild notes of citrus. If possible book a place by the window, difficult but worth it.
The view from Signature lounge.
Fig and Olive: We went there for drinks as well as lunch. Wonderful place, fabulous service, great food, great music. Must go. Booking required.
The Girl and the Goat: We could not go there as we had no booking. Booked solid for atleast a month in advance. Our friends managed a walk in. They said it was fabulous.
Pump Room : Our first meal and Chicago and it was unforgettable.
Spiaggia : Even though we reached drunk and left even more drunk, I still remember tasting the food and going all round and goggle eyed. Great wines. Try for a window table. Book. BTW: fantastic service. They indulged our drunk rambling.
WIne colllection in Spiaggia
The Chicago Deep Dish Pizza : We had it in Lou Malnati. A must go, but go with time. Many different venues. Loooong cues. And amazing pizza, though the deep dish cheese did a number on our stomach. I also heavily recommend the thin crust pizza. We had a taste, and regretted not having an appetite to eat one of those. The spinach one was outstanding.
The other places where its available are Giordano’s. We did not eat there though.
Next: From the makers of Aviary. We heard about it, but it was under renovation. Name’s so, because it changes menu and CUISINE every few months. Innovative to say the least!
I loved Chicago. The vibe, the zest and the view. I would go there again in a heartbeat. Place for foodies and those who love their alcohol and are willing to experiment a bit.
My daughter is already in college. This year the son spreads his wings too. And come September we have an empty nest, empty rooms and two desolate dogs. These dogs already have my love, but now they are going to be the sole recipients of crushing hugs, spur of the moment outbursts of violent cuddling. That’s how I intend to make up for the two missing kids, who kissed them on the mouth and let them sleep with them, even if they had rolled in poo. And I don’t think my kind of love is what the dogs are looking for. Most often they see “the look” in my eye and run far away.
Both the kids have done IB. (International Baccalaureate). It’s a fearsome, two-year program. I tried with my daughter, really did, to understand the way they study, the way their subjects are structured. I gave up, within 2 minutes. Physics paper 1 and paper 2. Paper 2 is alternate to lab. (How can you alternate to lab?) English did not have any textbooks. Why? Because it wasn’t literature. It was not even grammar. “What is it then I asked?” She said “Mom, I am buried here in a mess. I have a 500-word essay to submit, another mid term due and 3 assignments to complete. I cannot explain this ++++ to you!” I backed off hurriedly, and after that I would enter her room with extreme trepidation. There would be assorted files all over the place, with scary looking scribbled papers poking out. Each paper had the value of 2 years of hard work.
I really felt bad for them kids. We had it so much easier in life.
My batchmates. We did not need FB to stay in touch.
We had 49 students in our class, not 15. We had more friends.
Our classes were called standards, not grades.
We had one class, not multiple divisions.
The teachers’ knew us. They did not have to hold up our I cards to see our names.
We HAD no I cards. Our faces were our identity.
Gurkhaji knew each child’s going-home schedule. Fernandes bus child, BEST child, Mommy pick up child etc. Unknown security guards did not monitor our entrances and exits.
We had school from 10 am to 4 pm. Not unearthly hours of 7 am to 4 pm.
We had throw ball and athletics. No fancy tennis and basketball courts for us.
We had one PT teacher. PT stood for Physical Training. We did not have a fancy team of PE teachers. It was never Physical Education for us. It was just plain fun in the sun.
We were known by our names. Even to the office staff.
The teachers knew the records of our pranks and academic falls and rises. They did not have to look us up in fancy filing systems.
Our teachers when we were in school.
The teacher, who taught me in KG class, had also taught my 10 years older sister in KG class, and my 10 years younger sister in the same class. They did not change every “Semester”.
Most of them are still teaching in our school.
We had terms and not Semesters.
We got a holiday in pouring rain. We did not have to rush to school to show our sincerity.
We played honest to goodness interschool sports, in semi playable grounds. Fancy in-house tournaments were never organized for us.
We were hit at least once by our teachers, and our parents applauded it, instead of marching into school with cavalry and names of politicians.
Our parents could never enter school for the heck of it. Corridor walking parents were not allowed.
We beat each other up and took care of our problems. Parents never heard of our issues.
We did not have fancy canteens, catered by fancy restaurants. Infact we did not have a canteen.
We had a huge garden to play in. Not a rugged concrete passage.
We had ranks and marks and percentages. We did not have grades and percentiles.
We had 2 tests, mid term Exams and 1 final exam, which determined the status of our promotion to the next class. We did not have TOK, EE, IOC, IA, II, WL, PP, CAS, and other combinations of vowels and consonants.
Have you been hugged lately? It’s a wonderful feeling.
Get one today!
I am new to hugs. I would give a half – hearted one and let the person go, till one day my daughter’s new friend, met me for the first time. She immediately got up and gave me one of the tightest – I wont let you go soon- kind of hug. I was surprised and I admit it took me a few moments to reach out and hug her back. I also admit that I was a bit taken aback and thought it was a bit much, but when I left the room and went into my own, I remember feeling this fuzzy warm feeling, like I have never felt before. It was a I ask for nothing back – hug.
I have always hugged and cuddled the kids. And it has held me in good stead, because even now at the threshold of adulthood, they are still easy to hug, and now I need it more than them.
I have a cousin. He always hugs as a greeting. A nice warm, huge hug, accompanied by, a hearty laugh. His eyes light up, his never- been – cut moustache curls into his cheeks and, we all get left feeling so very special.
So often when I am at a loss for words, I just give a hug. What can oft repeated words convey that a hug cannot?
So all you mommies, daddies, husbands, sisters (Mine is awesone! She hugs and kisses,) please go out there and hug your loved ones. Life is too short. It’s a matter of one second to let go of your inhibition. And the returns are unbelievable.
Maybe one day you will convert a non-hugger like those kids converted me!
Amsterdam had me dumbfounded and the first day my mouth was hanging open, like a teenager confronted with a pop star. Its a city of pleasures, and sins. Cycling and food. Walking and museums. There is a museum for everything – Handbags and purses, Hemp and Marijuana, Rembrandt and Van Gogh. We did not visit any museum. The three short days were spent discovering the streets of Amsterdam, and cycling all over the city. Its great, because the amount we ate, we put on no weight.
We stayed in the Hotel Okura. It’s a little away from the heart of the city, slightly secluded but by no means boring. In fact the bars and pubs near the hotel were buzzing with mad FIFA spectators. (Holland was playing again’st Australia.) The crowds were dressed in Orange and they were all out on the roads. Our hotel had the most happening bar. Great music and great drinks.
Coffee Shops. This according to me, is the biggest draw. Joints are available everywhere. I mean you have to go to a coffee shop, which are everywhere. This hilariously sells absolutely no coffee. Only joints of various kinds. From the mild to very severe. We took one the last day. The mildest one. With great great apprehension. Nothing really happend, but as I was told by locals later, for a good high, one should go towards the local areas and get one there. It was very peculiar experience for us. Standing on the road and smoking a joint – legally.
Legal joint!!
Condomerie. Forget the kids, even we were educated. Massively if a bit inappropriately. This shop has only condoms, usable and unusable. They have a window display they change often. You must go in and buy one. http://condomerie.com
Window display of condoms.
So many to choose from!
Window Shopping. Amsterdam is known for window shopping. You must have heard of the women, dressed up– um! actually dressed down and displaying themselves behind windows. We did not enter any of these. There the kids put their foot down (much to our relief). In fact we were having an inner fight between embarrassment and intrigue. They are to be found in the red light district. Unfortunately I have no pictures. It was’nt allowed.
Cycling. Cycling is a must in Amsterdam. It’s the best way to see the city. We cycled every where. All hotels provide cycles, or you can hire them. Everyone drives almost the same type of cycle. 50,000 cycles are stolen per year, so the fancy ones are taken out only for recreation. The only problem we encountered was quite hilarious actually. We had trouble finding parking for cycles! It’s safest to lock them again’st poles, and poles were normally taken!! Everyone in that city is armed. The cycle locks are so huge heavy and vicious, one twang across the head and Whoosh!
We saw beautiful houses by the canal. Small but so gorgeous. One day we bought some cheese and wine and saddled up, and cycled to Vondel Park.
Picnic in Vondel Park.
You must pick up Cheese. Amsterdam is known for it. The shops themselves are very interesting. They offer free tasting. I loved the “old amsterdam” variety.
Heineken Experience. The old brewery has been turned into a museum of sorts. (This is the only one we went to) One gets a nice 4D experience, water sprinkles and all.
Canals Of Amsterdam.Vondel Park
Heineken Experience.
EATING PLACES
We ate in road side joints as well as 5 course meals.
Maoz. Must eat. Located all over the city, a super duper cheap and massively filling meal.
Hotel Okura. Five course meal. Fabulous. Even more fabulous for non vegetarians.
The bar in Okura is very lively too.
Chilled Tomato soup In Hotel Okura
Cooking Class. If you like cooking, book a class in Taste Of Okura- Hotel Okura. Even if you are not staying there. And if you prefer vegetarian, let them know before hand. They accomodate.
Taste of Okura. Asparagus with Hollandaise Sauce.
And that’s the summary of our memorable Amsterdam trip.
NOTE : If going with kids, make sure they are adults or atleast somewhere on the way there.
London for me is always going to be a work in progress. In March, I was traveling to Spain, and as usual we came back home, via London. The minute I landed into Heathrow airport, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. The kind one feels when one is back home from a scary journey. (No! Spain was not at all scary! It’s just that kind of feeling!) I told the husband, I felt like I was home. I have studied in London for 2 and half months a few years back, and this city will always hold a special place in my heart. So – London will always be a work in progress, because I will keep going back to it and trying out new stuff.
We have done all the touristy things, so this post is totally about food and drinks.
Old favourites.
Wagamamma. It’s a fast food Japanese place, where one sits on a communal table. You will have your own place, but a stranger might be sitting next to you. It wont bother you, because everyone is looking down, busy swallowing their food. It’s wholesome and tasty! http://www.wagamama.com/
Tamarind.By far my favourite Indian restaurant in London. To my mind the quality and service beats the more known places like Veeraswamy etc. http://www.tamarindrestaurant.com/
Novikov. This is a gem among restaurants. Expensive, for sure. But if you have to have one good meal in London, it has to be here. This location houses Asian and Italian restaurants. I’ve only eaten in the Asian, and I absolutely love the food. They have a fresh farmers market within the restaurant. You can purchase vegetables and sea food and take it back home. You can also choose which sea food you would like to eat. Enough food for vegetarians. Try different cocktails and Japanese Whisky. BOOK IN ADVANCE http://www.novikovrestaurant.co.uk/
La Bodega Negra Go to the one in Old Compton Street, Soho. Dark, with a speakeasy feeling. You enter into a craven dark and not dingy. It’s gothic and grunge mixed into one. This is the ambience. The food is as amazing. Fusionish Mexican. Spend a great evening there. BOOK IN ADVANCE http://www.labodeganegra.com/
THE NEW ONES.
Cantina Laredo Fancy Mexican Restaurant. Definately stands out from all other Mexican joints. Good for lunch too. http://www.cantinalaredo.com/
Roka Japanese lunch. Very busy place. I felt a hint of racism here. But absolutely brilliant food. Must go. http://www.rokarestaurant.com/
Avacado sushi in Roka.
InParma by Food Roots. Oh Dear!! I am going to go mad writing this one. What can I say. If you are offered a last meal on earth get it here. Its not only the food, its also the passion behind it. The near perfect absolutely fresh ingredients. Simple fare, no over cooking, no over flavouring. Have the Parma Ham and the cheese and the polenta and the pasta of the day. And then have the Lambrusco wine.
This is how the wine is served.
We cancelled another dinner booking a few days later and went there again. Please dont miss this one.
Dishoom. If you are craving a good Indian wholesome meal, realise your craving here. Crazy decor, huge place and hearty home food. We tried almost everything, after which I had to leave my family and go get some air, or I would have fallen asleep. I loved the Rajma chawal. It was done to perfection and the aroma of the food itself started a food coma. Lunch or dinner. Oh! and try their lassi and give their nimbu paani a miss. It tasted exactly like the one I have early morning for — um!! http://www.dishoom.com/
Bombay roadside toilet in London
Raclette Borough Market On Saturday, (though I believe its open every day now!) the farmers, organic food makers, dessert chefs, Swiss gourmand, beer brewers, organic butchers, fish mongers, cheese makers, Spice mixers – you name them, and they throng to Borough Market to sell their wares. Over the period of time I have bought drunken cheese (soft cheese infused with potent red wine), truffle flavoured honey, spices for Hungarian Goulash, Organic farm milk, fresh cupcakes, Freshly brewed beer, proseco with Creme de Cassis. I have seen 20 types of tomatoes, mad variety of garlic, and foods from regions beyond London. All of this draws me to Borough Market, but what I truly make that compulsory visit (and take everyone I know there) – is for the Raclette. There are numerous food stalls, I have never even seen what they serve. I head straight to the Raclette stall with one minded bullishness. They make it right in front of you. The rapidly melting cheese, oozing into a ready dish of smashed potatoes, laden with gherkins and pickled baby onions – its poetry. Sheer Prose. Its mind-blowing. Grab a proseco first. I cannot give you directions. It’s a labyrinth in there and it’s madly crowded. So do a recce and only then pounce on the food _ Oh! Dear. The Raclette stall also has cheese sandwich. Yeah! it’s a Cheese OverLoad.
The aroma will make you drool.
Proseco- Proseco with Cassis, Proseco Lemondade.
Dosa If you are craving Dosa, and Papdi Chaat, head to 5th floor food hall of Selfridges – Oxford Street. It will make you happy – I promise! OTHER THINGS TO DO. Neal’s Yard. Cute quaint place, In Covent Garden. Its within the Seven Dials Street. Neals’ Yard, is this small little colourful yard, with a Gypsy Bohemian feel. Colourful organice cafes, Pubs and restaurants. Visit the Neal’s Remedyshop. Its got organic creams. I love their ” Bee Lovely” hand cream. They also keep essential oils. Wait up and ask for advice. They are really happy to help. Covent Garden. Very cute place. Lots of restaurants, Pubs, Roadside shows. Pubs. How can one go to London and not go to a pub. How can you not have a pint of Guinness everyday? They are scattered all over. And come 4 pm, you can see throngs gathered there for a quick pint before they head home. Once – I was standing out and the husband went in to get us a pint each. A man walked out of the pub with a huge glass of ale in his hand and crossed the road to a kerbside. I must have glanced down at my watch and then up again and caught sight of him once more, and he was wiping his moustache with the sleeve of his shirt.That huge glass was over. In approximately 30 seconds. Don’t underestimate the Brits!
4 pm Friday rush to grab a pint.
Catch a play. Or a musical. whatever but see one. Your London experience is not over unless you do. Lookup on google and book tickets online. I use http://www.ticketmaster.com (go to the UK page) Or you can go to Piccadilly or Leicester Square and book one in the booths there.
WindOverSeas 